You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize