My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
