You work out of a Hotel?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
