It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
