First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
