No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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