i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
