guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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