Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize