I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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