He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
