why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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