Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize