Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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