I puked a lego.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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