pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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