We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
