I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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