hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize