I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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