He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
