question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
