i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
God, you're like boner-b-gone
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize