I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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