Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize