I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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