My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
