PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
