We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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