Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
