Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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