Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
