he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
