you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
