He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
