I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think my moral compass just broke
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
