So drunk its hurt
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize