she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
