I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
