turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
