She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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