Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
