Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just puked most of my soul out..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
