Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
