I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
