you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize