Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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