she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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