i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
