Can i not drive my cunt home
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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