I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
