eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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