You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
