i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
