She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
