Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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