living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize