I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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