i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
