her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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