Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
