Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
