It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
