Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
